Operation Adoption

We are back on track once again for adoption.  It's all in God's timing and we are really just trying to listen to His directions for this plan of His. After our first denial, we went through a rough patch at home and pushed away being obedient to God.  This just caused my heart to be in turmoil.  I was hearing all those lies that I was not good enough of a mom to bring another child into this home, that our marriage was not strong enough, and that I am so overwhelmed & stretched beyond my limits to bring more into my life.  I decided to just put adoption out of my mind and live MY life the way I wanted.  Well, that did not work so well and I have once again raised my hands to God and yelled out, "I surrender"! Walking in disobedience to something that God has CLEARLY asked you to do is not fun.  By my actions I was saying that God's not powerful enough to fix all the mistakes I make as a mother, that He could not keep my marriage happy, and that He could not handle more than what He's doing in our lives right now.  I should know better because all the amazing things He has gotten our family through these past 3 years with Autumn that He is capable of doing the impossible.  So, we contacted another agency a week ago and had a phone interview.  We are currently working on our 54 page application & will be attending training classes in 3 weeks.  Once the classes are complete & the application is accepted then we will have our home study done and then can begin the search for our new son.  I'm VERY scared & nervous but I know this is God's calling for our family and He will sustain & provide for us, He ALWAYS has. 

Gage's test results

We were scheduled to have a meeting with Gage's dr on Sept.7th to go over his testing results.  Well, earlier this week I received a call from his drs. nurse about his results.  It turns out Gage does NOT have a growth hormone defiency and his adrenal gland is working perfectly as well. So, both glands responded to the meds to way they were suppose to and we were able to cancel our appt because there is no need to talk about growth hormone injection treatment.  Praise the Lord!!!  She did tell us though that Gage's thyroid gland has an issue and his TSH (Thyroid Stimulating Hormone) is too high so he has hypothyroidism.  This can cause lethargy & weight gain along with other issues which he is showing no signs of right now.  They started him on a pill he has to take every morning before breakfast to hopefully regulate his thyroid gland to functioning at normal levels.  In 3 months he will go in to have bloodwork done to test his levels and then we will see what the next step is.  He may be able to get off the meds if his thyroid starts working properly or he may have to be on medication for his entire life.  Both of us would much rather have a pill to take daily than injections.  ;)  I am so glad God gave me that mommy intuition and we did not start him on injections when he was 4 years old as recommended by his first endocrinologist.  He's small because of genetics and not because of medical reasons and we are 100% okay with that.  I was being pushed by 3 pediatricians & 2 endrocrinologists to give my son injections so he can be average height one day.  These injections are said to be safe but are only 20 years old so you really do not know the long term effects it causes.  Also, it's teaching my son that if you don't like the way God created you then you can do something about it.  Autumn can not "cure" her Spina Bifida and she has to accept the fact that God chose for her to different from the other kids just as Gage will (and does so far) accept that he's shorter than his peers and be confident that he was made perfectly in God's eyes.  I was nervous on what we would say to Gage if the tests had come back showing he needed injections to grow...he kept asking me why he had to go through all of this because he was fine not being tall like his friends and wanted to know why I wanted him to grow.  He did not understand the medical reasons even though I tried to explain it so now I am thankful we can tell all his future drs to back off because the testing has been done.  His thyroid issues could also be a factor in his growth so we may actually see him start to grow more once it's functioning properly.  So, we are blessed for Gage to be a 33lb; 39 inch; 7 year old. ;)  Now that the issues with him are done (besides the ADHD stuff but so far he's doing well this year), I can go back to talking about Autumn.

Autumn has turned from a princess to a full-blown diva.  She does run this house and is very opinionated about her likes and dislikes.  She is becoming more and more picky the closer she is getting to 3 and driving her momma crazy.  She only communicates by pulling her speaking valve off (which sometimes causes her to pull her entire trach out with it) when she's not happy.  If she does not like a certain show on or something you are doing...off goes the valve.  She then likes to throw it on the floor or hide it in a drawer/bucket for us to hunt for.  We have lost it in so many places we have gone to but thankfully always find it since it's her only modified one.  Autumn has been busy with evaluations.  She had her school evaluation and her 1st of 3 evaluations for outside therapy.  She's always receives therapy at home but once she turns 3, she will be going to school for 3 hours, 3 days a week and then she will also take her to OT,PT, & speech therapy at Our Children's House at Baylor in Rockwall.  These therapies may be 2-3 times per week.  Yeah, I am not sure how we are going to have time to schedule all of this therapy but guess we will figure that out.  I thought I would be getting some of my life back once she starts school but looks as though I was completely wrong. 

School has been in session for 2 weeks now and I am trying to adjust to the new schedules.  I am overwhelmed from all the planning, driving back & forth to 2 schools, and trying to get stuff done around the house.  I hope it all slows down but I have a feeling it won't.  Right now Gage is doing gymnastics on Mondays but I may be putting him into scouts or something else he enjoys as well that does not call for weekend games.  He really would like to do baseball or soccer but with games being on Saturday mornings it's not possible for me to take the 3 kids since James works weekends.  Anyways, he's doing that and then we have reading daily & then spelling/math homework will start soon.  I set up a new reward system to help with chores and to do good at school, it's working so far! Now that his medical things are decided at least we can have one less thing to think about. Madison is absolutely loving middle school.  She is in drill team so football/basketball games will soon take over our Tuesday evenings.  She's already had a few projects due & she's taking 3 AP classes so we are going to have one busy year of homework.  She also got nominated to take the ACT/SAT for a Duke Talent Search because of her high TAKS scores but we are declining because we doubt she would pass a test given to seniors going into college but the honor of being nominated is an acheivement in itself.  Autumn is still busy with drs/therapists on an almost everyday basis.  So, all of this is why I rarely blog anymore...I can not keep up with it all.  My house gets clean but always look like a mess, the family gets fed but are always still hungry, the bills get paid but continue to come again the next month, the kids get to where they need to be whether by bus, mom taxi, or friends parents, and we are all healthy and blessed even though momma is drained.  :)  Adoption is still on my heart and waiting for God's perfect timing in that situation.  I want to sign up to do animal foster care for our local shelter because caring for animals has been my passion since I was young (that is why we currently own 6 pets) & I really need to have something I love even if my life is hectic & I'm overwhelmed.  I also will be volunteering at both of the kids schools...I love to serve others to help but also because it gives me that since of worth outside of the home.  Being a stay at home mom gets REALLY lonely so being out helping others does good for both parties.  Okay, there is my novel to hold you over for the next time I get a chance to sit down and type.