He's home!!!

I feel like I could write an entire book describing every little detail of our first day home with P. He did great flying on the plane & greeted us by running to us yelling, "Mommy, Daddy" & giving us big hugs. Once we arrived home, he was curious to check out the entire house. He first said hi to Autumn, we were wondering what he would think of her wheelchair, trach, & all of her equipment. He hasn't been nervous about it at all! He ran upstairs to check out his room. He wanted to open drawers, find his clothes, & open the gifts he had received from Nanny & Papa for Christmas. As soon as we showed him the bathroom & his toothbrush, he wanted to stop the exploring & brush his teeth. We tried to get him to look around first but he insisted so we watched him brush his teeth. He checked out the playroom, he liked the drums & guitars the best. We were then back downstairs to look at Autumn's room & check out the backyard. He found 3 toys of Autumn's that he has kept near him since he has been here that he loves to play with. Two are toy phones that he pretends people call him on all the time & the other is an alphabet tablet toy. We introduced him to Layla, our dog. He likes her but was unsure about her following him & getting in his face. They are about the same height. Layla lays on the floor wherever she wants & expects everyone just to step over her unless it's Autumn in her chair then she knows she better get out of the way fast! P did not want to step over her so he would just not pass her or yell for us to help him get passed her. He now is comfortable with her & will step over her & is okay when she walks up to him. He can not remember her name so he just calls her puppy. He wants to eat ALL the time. I have to give him small snacks throughout the day. He has some stomach issues so we don't want him to eat too much as once. It's hard having to tell him no because I know he was probably deprived of food when he was a baby & so he feels the need to eat all the time. It's a balance that we need to give him food so he feels secure & understands it will always be available but he can not over eat & be sick. I wonder how he is so little with all the food he eats! Our first day went REALLY well! He does so good with Autumn. They would lay in the floor or in her bed & each have an ipod to look at. She kept trying to grab his ears which he thought was funny but did not like her doing it. He would just say, "No,No, baby sister!" When she would lay on him, he would say, "Mommy, my baby sister loves me". He has been gentle with her & tries to tickle her, but Autumn is not ticklish. The majority of the first day home was spent chasing P around & informing him of the house rules like, no food/drinks upstairs, don't give puppy people food, do not open the doors to outside or go outside without asking permission first. He tested some boundaries but he does really good with either redirection or telling him he will lose a privilege & then does what he was told. I've had to do the count to 3 a couple of times & he always stops before 3. He really is a good kid, he has sweet manners & asks for permission before he picks an app to play on my ipad to make sure it's ok to play. I did take him to get a haircut & he looks so handsome but he has discovered Gage's baseball cap & wants to wear it 24/7 so the hairstyle never lasts long. He is adjusting much better than we expected & acts as though he has always lived here!

Day 3

Sunday morning we picked up P for breakfast. He did really well in the restaurant. At first he was sitting by me & Gage but then started putting his head down & was whispering something. I asked him what was wrong & he said he wanted to sit by daddy. He sure does love his daddy already! :) The boy can eat too! Foster mom said you have to stop him or he will not stop! He ordered him some pancakes with bacon. He did not want the bacon but wanted my sausage instead, he also wanted daddy's toast. He ate 4 small pancakes, a piece of toast, a sausage patty, & drank 2 cups of apple juice & still wanted to eat! We have to be careful he does not eat too much because of the surgery he had back in January. Gage barely ate about 3 pancakes & drank his cup of chocolate milk & he's bigger than P! When we were done eating, P said he did not want to go back to grandma's & that he wanted to stay with us. The entire way home, he kept saying, "I don't want to go home". He knew that we would be leaving when he got to grandma's. Once there, we loaded up all his belongings to bring home so he would not have to take them on the plane on Thursday. I could not believe all the stuff she sent. We were told that some foster parents send everything & some just send the clothes on their back. He had a huge tub of clothes play a large trash bag full, a box & bag of toys, a bag of shoes, a bike, & a scooter. She also sent his meds & bath stuff as well! After loading up, we took some pictures & then had to say our goodbyes. Foster mom & I hugged, it was one of those emotional hugs where we both were feeling so thankful for the other. For the past year & a half, I have prayed my son was in a safe & loving home. This woman has been taking care of him for 3 years. She has taught him how to walk, talk, bond & did all of it knowing that one day he would have to leave. She has done such an awesome job with him, he is such a sweet boy. I will never be able to thank her enough, she's a special lady. We could tell she is sad that P is leaving her because she will miss him but she did the job she was called to do & she is so happy he loves us & will have a forever family who will love him no matter what! We plan to visit in June & then whenever we can. So, we gave P his & kisses & has we started to leave he started bawling!! Yes, I started crying too. He stood at the door with his arms reaching out to us. We went back to give him more hugs & tell him that we promise he would fly to live with us in 4 days! I told him he could call us whenever he wanted to, just to tell grandma. It was so hard to leave! About 10 minutes down the road, grandma called us to let us know he was fine & playing & she wanted to let him talk to us. It was good to talk to him when he was happy again. I already miss him even though I've been going non-stop since getting home yesterday. I have so much to do before he gets here on Thursday so my blogging break has to end so I can get back to work.

Day Two

This morning we picked up P at 9:30am to take to the zoo. He met big sister & big brother for the first time. He was more shy & just said hi to them. I think he knows kids means sharing parents love so he was a little unsure about them being there. They gave him the gifts they got him, a stuffed kitty cat animal & a football. He liked them. We had a good time at the zoo. He tested boundaries but listened to us most of the time. There was one time he ran from daddy while laughing, but daddy did not think it was as funny. One time we made the mistake of telling him bye when he would not come & started to slowly walk off, thinking he would want to follow. Instead he got really sad & said we told him bye...yikes! We felt bad & realized that was not a good idea to do for a child who has been abandoned by his parents in the past. My favorite part of the day was watching daddy having to do everything for him. Yes, I'm usually the one the kids run to & ask for things but P wants daddy to do most everything. It's a nice change of roles, not sure daddy is too thrilled about it though. We also noticed today he is quickly learning how to go from parent to parent when he gets mad at one parent. I would tell him no about something & he would want to walk by daddy or if daddy said no, he wanted to hold mommy's hands. He did not seem to get jealous though when Gage held our hands so that was good. He warmed up to Gage quickly but still seems a little unsure of Madison. He whines a lot when he wants something...over & over...typical kid. :) He showed us some of his goofy side as well. He put on my sunglasses & James' baseball cap on & would slowing turn his head towards us & say, "Hey, LuLu". Not sure what Lulu is but he said it several times during the day about different things. One time daddy took him to potty & when he came back, he ran up to me & hugged my legs, I asked if he missed me & he said yes. It was sweet! He will be keeping us very, very busy since he goes non-stop. It's been a long time since we've had little ones to run after but I'm sure we will get use to it again. He also is not 100% potty trained & we have not potty trained a kid in about 6 years so that we will have to get use to again...we had 4 potty breaks, had one accident & had to change into a pull-up & new clothes, & a pull-up accident too all in about 5 hours! We are so use to our kids that need like 2 bathroom breaks ALL day (yes, we have been spoiled). I really thought we would see our first fit at the zoo but he really did well with us redirecting him. We let the kids pick out something from the gift shop & he wanted 4 things but we said only one & he was completely ok with that. Since he chose an inexpensive toy, we let him get another little something too. ;) Gage was not happy about it but his 1 toy was more than the 2 P got so he finally got over his little pout fit. By the end of the day, P was ready to leave (he wanted to play on my ipad) & was ready to see his "grandma" (foster mom) again. He never asked for her but said yes when we asked if he wanted to go see her. I think once he moves home, it will be hard when he realizes grandma lives too far to go visit. It's going to be hard on him so huge prayers for him please! In the morning we get to take him to breakfast & then will load up all his clothes & toys to take back home with us. It will be hard saying bye to him but I am so glad that in 4 days he will be home for good! I probably need those extra 4 days to rest & prepare for the huge change happening in our lives, I may not get to rest again for awhile! ;)

The Meeting

I was so nervous about the meet because I was not sure how P would react. We hoped he would warm up to us quickly & not be shy but never expected the reaction we received. We knocked on the door of his house & could hear him running to the door yelling "Who is it?" Foster mom greeted us at the door & P ran passed her running to hug James' legs while saying "Daddy!". I then bent down to ask for a hug & he gave me a hug & then noticed James was holding a present so he asked what it was, he told him it was for him, he grabbed the gift sack & rushed inside to open it. He was excited to get the recorded book of James, Gage, & I reading the 3 little pigs. Madison did not want to be involved helping us read the story, typical 14 year old. :) He also liked his Nick Jr. Sticker book as well. He listened to the first couple of pages of the storybook 4 or 5 times & then wanted to open the gifts we had bought for his foster mom & social worker. Next he was reading to work on his sticker book with daddy. He is going to be a daddy's boy for sure! He has never had a male figure in his life & you can tell he craves the attention from males. Anytime we went anywhere, he ignored all women & had to wave & say hi to every man he saw. After the sticker book, I lured him over to sit in my lap & play on my ipad. He LOVED it & kept checking out all my apps but somehow ended back over next to daddy with it. ;) I'm excited James will have a daddy's boy...Gage is such a momma's boy! They told us we could take him on an outing for awhile. We asked if he wanted to go to the park & he was SO excited! On our way trying to find the park, we stopped for ice cream. P took no time calling us mommy & daddy. Everything was "Look Mommy", "Daddy come on", "Watch me daddy" "Mommy, I did it" and so on. It felt completely natural hearing it come out of his mouth. It was kind of weird for me to be taking my son to get ice cream & I had no idea what kind he likes! He requested chocolate but ended up taking turns eating our ice cream instead because his was "too cold". At the park, he had us busy! We had to follow him on all the equipment & do whatever he did. The child is definitely ADHD, his mid changed to something different every 5 seconds & everything distracted him for one thing to another. He is a ball of energy! After an hour & a half out, it was time to take him back home to "grandma". When we pulled up to the house, he said he wanted to stay with us. It made me happy he was not ready to leave us just yet. We reassured him we would pick him up in the morning & he said, "go home" but we had to explain he will come home another day but tomorrow we will take him to the zoo & he could meet Madison & Gage. He actually called them, nana, & nanny on the phone while we ate our ice cream. He is not shy & was so excited to talk to them all. We went inside with him & to say our goodbyes. He hugged me & let me kiss his cheek & then hugged James & when James told him that he loved him, P said he loved him too. :) The day went so much better than I expected. As soon as we got in the car, James said he has never been so scared in his life. He never even said that when we heard about Autumn's diagnosis!!! I think he knows that he is going to be the most important person in P's life & he's got a big role ahead of him. We are scared that we may not be able to keep up with ALL that energy but I'm sure we will manage somehow! ;) I'm going to bed so thankful for my 4 beautiful children & feeling liked one blessed momma tonight!

If you feel like praying...

A friend texted me the other night asking what specific prayers we need. First, I thought it was so sweet of her to be thinking of us & then I thought maybe I should be letting people know what our prayer needs are! I joke that maybe I will have a breakdown once I have 4 kids living under my roof but I know with people lifting us up in prayers as well as us seeking God's strength that He will provide & I will not have that breakdown. :) So, here are some things we ask in prayers: 1. Travel safety as we travel this weekend to meet our little guy. 2. Autumn's protection while we are away & she's being cared for by our nurses & my sister in law. Prayers for our caregivers too! 3. P to be receptive to us & not be scared but feel our love for him & give him peace instantly. 4. P as he transitions from the life he's known for the past 3 years. He's been in the same foster home for 3 years & has formed a bond with his foster mother so I really worry what the move will be like for him. Pray for him to have little anxiety & some understanding of this change. 5. Our entire family...it is going to be an adjustment for ALL of us. Pray James & I can juggle ourselves between 4 kiddos & that we can recognize when one needs a little extra attention. None of us really know what to expect so the unknown feelings to come are a little scary. 6. Travel safety when P flies home next Thursday & that he will not be scared. He has never flown & will be traveling with a CPS caseworker he has not met. 7. Pray we will figure out his new name soon..I'm stressing over this!!! We mainly just pray & hope for a smooth transition with very little bumps. I can not believe I will actually be meeting the son I've been praying about for a year & 7 months now! It's been a long process & I'm so thankful the time has finally come to meet him!

Subsidy payments

Friday we had our phone meeting with CPS about getting approved for subsidy payments for "P". We were approved & will receive monthly subsidy to help with "P's" expenses until he is 18 years old! If you have a heart for adoption but you may be concerned about the extra cost of adoption then please consider adopting through the state. There is so much help they provide to find these kids forever homes so they will not be passed from one foster home to another. They provide Medicaid for these children even after adoption until the child is 18 years old. They also pay 100% tuition of any state college as well. They also cover $1,200 of attorney fees for the adoption finalization. If you adopt a child in their special needs category then you may be eligible to receive subsidy pay,nets until the child reaches 18. Their definition of special needs is any child over the age of 6, a sibling group, a minority child over the age of 2, or a child with a physical or mental disability. "P" qualifies because he is Hispanic & he is developmentally delayed & has some diagnoses that consider him a moderate level of care. With or without subsidy payment we would be adopting but it is such a blessing to have monthly financial help so we can provide even more for "P". This will allow me to quit my part time job, which I had already planned on doing, since both "P" & Autumn require 24/7 supervision & attention so for awhile neither parent will be left completely alone with the 2 ;) James also picks up overtime shifts each month to cover any extra expenses that come up that we had not planned on so it will allow him to not work overtime & spend more time bonding with "P". I admit, the decision go adopt was scary. I worried about finances & about juggling 4 kids but God has reminded me time & time again that He will provide both financially & physically my needs if I just trust in the calling He has put on our hearts. I am so thankful I have not allowed all my fears to dictate my decisions because God always follows through with His promises.

Our California Trip

Going out of town for a week was not an easy task. First, I had to figure out childcare, arrange nursing, & make the long daily schedules for my mom & sister in law. Our cruise was cancelled due to the ship's engine catching on fire just 2 weeks before we were suppose to leave. I had to completely plan a new trip, finding the best deals on airfare, rental cars, & hotels in less than 2 weeks! Finally it was Monday morning & we were headed to the airport for our California getaway. Not even 15 minutes out, our van starts overheating. We've been having issues with the van & not driving it for a week but had no other choice but to take it to park at the airport for a week while we were away. So, we made it to my brother's house & he offered to let us drive his car to the airport & he would get a co-worker to take him to pick it up later. So, we missed our first flight but got on stand-by to fly out just a couple of hours later. We flew to Austin & then waited on stand-by again to fly to San Diego. We arrived just about 2 hours later than we had planned. I was so thankful I made it without getting sick on the plane. I had my dramamine, ginger gum, & ginger ale to keep me feeling good. The ginger gum worked really well! We landed then took a shuttle to pick up our rent a car. We then drove & drove looking for a good place to eat. At this time I had a huge headache because I had not eaten but a few pretzels all day & it was already 1:30pm (3:30 Texas time). We found a little cafe in La Jolla. We then drove to a beach area where all the seals like to hang out. The last picture is James getting just feet from the seals. I could of watched them ALL day. I just love seeing animals in their natural environment! We then found our hotel & got all checked in. We found a local pizza place called the Pizza Port which was neat & then went to bed early that night. I know, we have a week without kids but choose to sleep. James would of loved to stay out late but I was SO tired & the purpose of a week away for me was to rest, rest, rest. :) Tuesday we spent the day at the San Diego Zoo. I would LOVE to visit as many different zoos as possible before I die. I LOVE them! San Diego was at the top of my list but it was not as grand as I had expected. Don't get me wrong, it's a really beautiful zoo but I felt some of the exhibits were not as nice as I expected & the children's area was disappointing. I actually like our DFW zoo's better! I took TONS of animal pictures but I will just post a few. Wednesday we drove to my cousin Debra's house in the Orange County area. My aunt happened to be in town as well & I met my 3rd cousin, Coleman, for the first time. We all went to lunch & then James & I went to the Anaheim Ducks hockey game that night. This is the one thing James REALLY wanted to do while on vacation so I agreed. I'm pretty much just a football fan & could care less about any other sport but I still had a good time. This is Coleman & I. He is so adorable! Thursday we drove up to Huntington beach & then drove back on the coast highway stopping at different beaches. We saw Huntington, Newport, & Laguna. It was such a relaxing day of sight seeing. I loved it! Friday we left my cousins to head back to San Diego. We did some more sight seeing on the way back. We stopped at Dana Point, San Clemente, and in Oceanside. We arrived back in San Diego & then checked into our hotel & got dressed for dinner. We then drove over the Coronado bridge to Coronado Island & did a little shopping before dinner. It was really nice to go away alone with my husband for 5 days & just relax. It was nice not having mommy duty for 5 days...eating without interruptions, not listening to any whiney kids, no medical duties, no taking care of anyone but myself but I sure did miss ALL of that! Although it's nice to visit other places & go on vacation...nothing is like being home!

Family Book

One of the first things we did when we started the adoption process was make a book about our family. It has pictures of us, tells a little about each of us, & has pictures of our house, rooms, & animals. The book was used to send to CPS caseworkers who were looking at us as potential parents & then would one day be sent to our son when he would be told that he is no longer a foster child but has a forever family selected for him. Well, "P" received our book last week & today I received a picture of him holding it with a big smile across his face. I actually also talked with his foster mom on the phone today. She was giving me dates of some upcoming appointments he has in the next couple of months so we can either get them transferred here or travel back to his town to go to them. Anyways, she said "P" loves his book & he is carrying it around the house with him. He points to the pictures & says, "Daddy" & "Momma". She says when he points to Madison he says, "cousin" but she reminds him that is big sister. He points at Gage & says, "brother" & "baby sister" when he points at Autumn. She said he will point at our dog Layla & say, "MY puppy". She said he pointed at our house & said, "Wow". She says she still does not think he gets that he will actually leave her to live with us but he is really excited to see us. It makes my heart happy! I pray it helps with the transition & meeting but I know it will still be hard. Foster mom said she really thinks he is going to love playing with Gage. She is sad he will be leaving but she's so happy for his future. I reassured her we will keep in touch by phone & come for visits. I can't believe only 17 days until I get to hug him!