Updated pictures

When we were first told about "P" the only picture sent was a grainy black & white photo of him. I call it my sonogram picture :) In his file, there were 2 more black & white pictures but he looked completely different in those then the first one we were sent so we had no clue which were recent picture & which one were older. I asked if his caseworker could take some pictures for us when she visits him on Tuesday. Well, less than 24 hours I was sent 3 photos that had been taken in October & November. Not sure why they never thought to send me those to begin with but at least I have them now. He is so precious! My heart melts every time I look at him. I'm not going to lie, I have looked at the 3 pictures over 100 times since yesterday. Makes me now even more anxious to meet him! I have a wall in our house with four 8x10 frames (one for each child). We have stared at the 4th empty frame for a year now as a reminder of our incomplete family & the son we have been praying & searching for. Yesterday I was able to add a picture to that frame. No, it's not official (yet) that he will be our son but it will be once the paperwork & staff meeting has been complete. The decision will be ours to decide. James & I have already dedicated our hearts to this child no matter what else we learn about his needs. When Autumn was diagnosed with spina bifida it did not change how we were going to love & accept her, it just gave us more to educate ourselves about to prepare the best we could for her arrival. Same goes for "P", we may find out a little more than we expected about him but it's not things that will affect the safety of our other kids just more issues he may have that we will have to educate ourselves about. We are committed to giving this boy a forever home. Please be in prayer that the rest of his paperwork gets done asap so the process can move forward, we are anxious to meet our son!!!

Back to waiting

My hopes were that this week they would schedule a staffing meeting to take place before the holidays. I staffing meeting is where the CPS caseworker, CASA worker, foster mom, attorney, & anyone else involved in the life of "P" gets on a phone conference with us & our caseworker to discuss the details of his file & answer any questions/concerns we have. After this meeting takes place then we have to wait 24 hours to give an official yes or no to adopting "P". Well, I got an e-mail today that the CPS worker wants an updated psychological evaluation done on "P" & for us to read it before we can have the staffing meeting. WHAT?! A psych can take weeks to schedule & then a month or more for the psychologist to type up his report!!! My frustration is why has this not been done yet? They knew he would need one before they can do a placement so why did they not get it going right after they picked us to be his adoptive parents? God is really trying to teach me a lesson in patience & trust on His perfect timing. We did receive a developmental assessment that was done last month on "P". It gave us some more insight & maybe warnings that were not in his file about him. I hope the psych evaluation will give us even more detail on what to expect & plan for with "P". So, the waiting continues :(

They came!!!

Fed Ex finally delivered the files today around 2pm. It was one little CD with 702 pages!!! I can not discuss the information on the file but I can say I was already feeling overwhelmed by page 2. CPS uses abbreviations that I had no clue what they meant. I am use to medical abbreviations by now but these were from a whole new world. ;) I managed to read a little more & figure most of them out using my context clues. So, I sat down reading report after report & writing down important information and questions. It was not always in order so I had to pay close attention to each report date to get a correct timeline of events. I laughed & cried while reading the report. Some tears were of joy. Hearing about milestones or major events in the life of my soon to be son. I realized that even though I did not give birth to this child or was not around for his first several years of life, that I can still see how he grew because of the detailed reports written by the CPS caseworkers. I am so thankful for that. After a total of about 6-7 hours, I finally finished scanning through all 702 pages. Some papers are irrelevant & just CPS business that can be read in further detail if ever needed in the future. I read all the most important pages of his development & got to know my son a little more. He seems like he is a great kid! I can't wait to meet him! It's not official yet but as soon as they allow us to give our final yes then we can move to the next step. James & I are 100% sure we want this child as our son. We've been praying for him for over a year now. Many boys have been presented to us but no one captured ALL of our hearts like this child. The entire family is excited about him & that is a miracle in itself to have the teenager excited too. ;) I've already sent an e-mail to our caseworker with our questions & yes to move forward when we can. I'm sure the next step will be more waiting but we are getting closer. Stay tuned.

Files!!

The CPS case files for "P" are being sent overnight to us!!!  Tomorrow I will be reading 3 years worth of CPS information & making a list of question.  The next step after files are reviewed is to schedule a staff meeting for everyone involved to ask & answer questions before we give our final answer if we do or do not want to adopt "P".  This is exciting!