Our Holidays

I hate to say it but I'm SO glad the holidays are over. Christmas was exhausting and emotional for me this year. We started off going to Austin before Christmas for 2 nights to celebrate with James' side of the family. Autumn started doing bad on the trip there. I did not have extra nebs since she rarely needs them and we were having to use oxygen which is also rare. I was stressed about those things and then Autumn was up every night from about 1am-5am and I was having to do CPT on her twice an hour and nebs every 2-4 hours. Besides her issues, we had a good time. We got back on the 23rd and the 24th I had my brother's family and cousin Steph over and we ate, played games, and exchanged gifts. Autumn was doing better (no more fever). Christmas morning Autumn slept for over 13 hours so we did presents without her. She opened presents that afternoon...well, Gage opened them for her because she had no interest in doing it. I was bummed that evening because I just feel Autumn has regressed with her development. I just thought by her 3rd Christmas she would be into presents and toys but all she cared about was the glitter ball from the Dollar tree she got in her stocking and playing with the door stop. I just hate she can't sit up to play still and has such a long ways to go. I was giving myself a mini-pity party. On the 26th we left for Odessa to visit my side of the family. Autumn was doing better for this trip but our oxygen tanks were leaking and I was worried when we got down to only 1 large tank and 1 small tank to last the rest of the week. We had a good time but I had just been so tired from the traveling, worrying about Autumn, getting things together for Madison's surprise slumber party and just was feeling down and depressed. I was getting to the point where I just wanted to run away and get a break from it all. Autumn's needs NEVER stop and when we are traveling for 2 weeks, without nursing, and she's not feeling 100% it just all adds up and feels like too much to handle. The last night we were in Odessa, Autumn started getting green secretions around her trach stoma so that was another added worry but we called the dr. and he said as long as there is no fever and we are not suctioning green secretions then we would be okay until Monday to get it checked out. Don't get me wrong, we still had a great time with the holidays but I have to admit my heart was just so heavy the entire time that I was just ready for it all to end. We managed to give Madison a slumber party while in Odessa with her cousins and old friends. Her grandma Roxane went ALL out and it was a fabulous party! I was so ready to be home on New Year's Eve and settle back into our normal routine. I finally got some rest and dug back into God's word which just showed me that I was back to my old habits of relying on my own strength and just not trusting in His to get me through things. I felt renewed and was ready to stop feeling down and depressed and to start feeling positive about things again. Everytime I start worrying it's just because I am not trusting God to take care of all my needs. So, to wrap it up....Autumn's stoma is looking much better and I'm starting to see more positive changes in her. She's sitting up a little better and interacting with us and focusing on things much better now. Prayer is so powerful and I can't believe I just "forget" about it at times. Madison had a 2nd slumber party and I think the girls had a great time. ;) I will post some of our highlight pictures of the past 2-3 weeks later. It also snowed here yesterday and Gage and I had a blast playing in it. Layla LOVED the snow as well but injured her knee...she would not bear weight at all yesterday but was doing a little this morning so I may watch her but if not better by this afternoon she will get to take a trip to the vet. I just hope she did not tear her ACL...would be an expensive surgery if so. Last night she could barely get up by herself and would yelp everytime she stood up...my poor puppy.