Between the Rain

It has been 47 days since I have heard from our adoption caseworker. I've been trying to be patient but I'm not. I have been trying to understand the silence is a time of growth but it's been hard. Yesterday I pulled into my driveway & the thought came to mind to not pursue adoption, I was having doubts that I am capable for this calling God placed in my heart. I know God told us to adopt but was thinking maybe He just wanted to see if I would make the first step in obedience but it was not meant to carry out to the end.

About 4 hours later, I went to my ladies bible study that I do bi-weekly with my growth group. We are studying the Beth Moore study over the book of James. Great study! Tonight Beth talked about the rainy times in our lives. Those times you feel God's spirit downpouring on you. Everything you read, every sermon you hear speaks directly to you & God is shouting at you. Those are the times we wish lasted always. However, we have "between the rain" times where you wonder if God disappeared because you hear nothing from Him. Silence. It's these times that we are to remain faithful to His calling on our lives. She talked of crops. Crops have their dry & wet seasons. Both are crucial & needed to deliver healthy crops. If all the crops got were rain, they would be flooded & would die. In our dry seasons of life, God is "under" the soil working on us & preparing us for the rain to fall on us. Dry seasons can last a long time & it our faithfulness of the unseen work & quiteness that bring the rains eventually. She talked of endurance & perseverance to keep going when called by God & not lose faith or doubt the calling. She quoted the verse (didn't write down where it was found) about how God promises at sunrise, He will bring your rain.  At that moment I silently said a prayer to God.

"God, bring my rain tomorrow at sunrise.  Let me awake to an e-mail from our adoption caseworker about a child.  Whichever child she e-mails about, let that be the son you have planned for our family.  I'm so ready for your rain on our lives"

My bible study began at 6pm & ended by 9pm.  I checked my e-mail afterwards & what do I see?  Yes! An e-mail from our adoption worker about a boy we had inquire about in March.  Coincidence? No way!  She sent the e-mail at 5:52pm.  God had answered my prayer before I had even asked it.  He allowed me to ask the prayer so that when I checked my e-mail I would have no doubt it was God's doing.  I have faith in our calling, in God's timing, and that this boy will be our son soon.  I love that God didn't wait until sunrise to answer my prayer, He knew my needs before I asked.

We read his psychological evaluation & said we wanted to see what the next step is...we are leaving it to God from here on.  I know He is faithful & thankful He continues to remind me when I start to doubt.  Will heep you posted.

Today my baby boy turned 8 years old.  His birthday are hard for me because he is my only boy (for now) & I know momma's boys go away more & more each year & I am NOT ready for that.  I am so blessed to have such a happy, silly, competitive, funny, entertaining, lovable, and sweet son.  He always knows how to cheer me up & make me laugh.  I love him so!

Autumn has been doing AWESOME since her surgery.  I like on her hearing report it states, "test does not predict how an individual will use her hearing." They got that right, she has perfect but selective hearing.  :)

I just received a call from the animal shelter today about fostering.  They are overloaded & begged me to come pick up any dog of my choice to bring home for either as long as I can or for as long as they need me.  They strive to be a no-kill shelter so the more foster parents the better to save a dog from being euthanized just because there is no room.  I'm sure the kids & Layla will be excited.