Going on a Cruise!

It's true, we are going on a cruise for our 10 year anniversary. I just booked it & I still can not believe I'm actually leaving Autumn for 6 nights as I sail to another country! This is a HUGE leap of faith for me. A few months ago I was giving myself a little pity party how we have sacrificed so much of our free time the last 4 years & how some days I'm just tired & overwhelmed & just wish I could get a break. I realized at that moment that it really is important that James & I give back to ourselves to replenish all that we give out to our family. We have not been on a date in about 8 months. I think we go on about 2, maybe 3, dates a year. We would love to spend more alone time together but with his work schedule & our lack of trained helpers we just can not do it. We went to San Antonio when I was pregnant with Autumn & then our next "trip" was an overnight stay about 40 minutes from our house last year. It was the first time we had ever left Autumn overnight...I take that back, we did leave her overnight about 3-4 times when she was still an infant in the hospital for 4 months. It's different leaving her at home than in a hospital of course! I also though know I need to start trusting God more in my life. I've been taking small steps the past few years but this is really a big test for me. I do get anxious thinking about it but I know in my heart that a trip for us is LONG past due & this is a MUST for our relationship. We've almost forgotten what it's like to be a couple. Most of our conversations are in passing when I'm waking up & he's going to sleep or vice versa. Our quality time is spent doing Autumn's bath, trach care, and giving her meds together. We just never have time to do things together we enjoy because we are always in parent mode and with a 4th child coming in hopefully 2-3 months, we better take this chance to get away while we can. :) On our honeymoon we said we wanted to return to Hawaii for our 10 year anniversary but since that is not in the budget, we figure the next best thing (and cheapest) would be to go on a cruise. We decided to go on a Carnival Cruise to Mexico! I went on a Disney cruise about 14 years ago but James has never been so I am so excited for him to experience one. James was shocked I even considered sailing away & figured I'd change my mind & not book it. I did come close because between trying to figure out Autumn's care & then we are in the middle of this adoption process, I just did not think it was going to be possible. We got confirmation from the adoption agency that it will probably not be until March that we may have placement of "P" because we still have so much we are waiting on so they said February would be fine to leave. (I had originally planned for March since that is our anniversary month) First I had to ask my SIL (Jen), brother, & mom if they would want to watch the kids for us. I then had to figure out how nursing hours would work because I'm only allowed 98 hours per week but would need night coverage every night but also wanted Autumn to still be able to attend some school & give my day nurse her 38 hours a week still. So, with much sacrifice from my family & nurses I came up with a schedule that will work. Sunday: Jen 4p-8p, nurse#1 8p-6a Monday: Jen 6a-7p, nurse#2 7p-7a Tuesday: Jen 7a-7p, nurse#1 7p-7a Wednesday: Jen 7a-7p, nurse#1 7p-7a Thursday: Jen 7a-11a, nurse#2 11a-5p, Jen 5p-8p, nurse#3 8p-7a Friday: nurse#2 7a-5p, Jen 5p-7p, nurse#3 7p-8a Saturday: nurse#2 8a-5p This will make sure Autumn always has a trained person here at all times. My mom will be here to help care for & taxi the other 2 around & assist in helping Jen with Autumn. My brother will have to work from home some throughout the week to do Jen's normal kid duty of taking & picking up their kids from school. Now I need to do lots of praying that no one gets sick & Autumn does not do any of her "life-saving" tricks. I know she will be in good hands though. So, for the next month I will be having Jen practice doing trach care, changing vent circuits, trach changes, etc. She has done it all but not on a regular basis so a refresher course is needed. I'll also need to see about training my brother so he can be a back up plan if anything did happen to Jen or a nurse. I have lots to do before our trip, which includes losing weight! I'm so exicted!!! Just a side note...I separate my posts into paragraphs for organization but lately blogger has been putting it all together when I post it & I don't know why & it's so frustrating?!!!