Early Christmas

This year Christmas was early for us.  Madison is going with her daddy and Grandma Roxane this year for Christmas weekend (she usually does the weekend before with them).  So, we adjusted our schedules so we could all celebrate Christmas together (good thing we don't do Santa because not sure how we would explain that one).

Tuesday evening my brother's family and my cousin came over to do our Christmas exchange.  I just LOVE being with family on Christmas and enjoy living so close to my brother now that we are able to get together for so many occasions now.

 Wednesday morning was our CHRISTMAS!  We have been doing an Advent devotional with the kids all month long but since ours came early, I got off and we never got fully caught up.  I think they had the point of Christmas down though.  ;)  Gage woke up first and had to wait patiently until his sisters woke up.  I made a big breakfast and then Autumn woke up by the time we were done eating. 

These ended up being Madison's most expensive present since I got her big present on sale.

 Autumn does not care for wrapping paper and refuses to touch it.  When she sees something she likes under the paper though she will actually look at the paper but until then she's not having any of it.  She is the most stubborn child EVER!  My mom thought I was bad, and then we thought Madison was bad but Autumn has us both beat.  Even when she's venturing out of her room in her wheelchair...she will be smiling but as soon as we see her and say something, she turns her head and goes back to her room.  Oh, that child!

 She LOVES book now.  She will sit for awhile just flipping through the pictures but once we sit down to read it to her, she's done.

 Yes, my 12 year old daughter drink coffee and wanted a Keurig for Christmas.  It was either that or pet rats.  We have already done the pet rat thing so that was out of the question.  James and I do NOT drink coffee so I can't believe Madison likes it so much!

 Since Autumn's FAVORITE thing to do is watch TV, we decided she needed a new flat screen TV. She also needed one for safety reasons since she slams her drawers of her dresser when she's in her wheelchair so we got one we could mount on the wall.  The cute thing was as soon as she saw it, she looked at the TV in the livingroom and then back at the box, repeat.  She recognized instantly that it was a TV in that box and I think she liked it.  ;)

 Gage got an ipod for Christmas.  He's been wanting one for 3 years!  As soon as he saw it, he asked if it was real 3 times! 

 He's pretty happy!

 I feel beyond blessed this Christmas with my 3 beautiful children.  I am so proud of each one of them!

Our Christmas day ended by being able to give a Christmas wish to a needy family.  The local Christain radio station does this every year and they go to different locations in the DFW area and have notebooks full of pages of people needing a Christmas wish.  In past years, we select foster children from the Angel tree to buy from but this year I had put off doing anything and when I heard the Christmas wish was in Rockwall, I went to check it out.  I did not know that once you pick the family you want to help, you contact them, find out their needs, and then deliver the presents yourself to them.  I thought this should be our new Christmas tradition because the kids not only get to shop for the family but also get to deliver it and see how they are helping which I think is important for the kids to do at a young age to really understand what it is their doing for others.  So, we picked a single mom of 3 kids who had lost her job and apartment and was living with her sister who has 5 kids.  We bought clothes and toys for her 3 children and her niece who needed some clothes.  We also were able to get the mom a few things for herself.  My SIL helped as well and we loaded up the 4 kids (hers & mine) to deliver the gifts.  It was so fun being able to fill underneath their entire tree and to see my kids helping out.  It makes you remember how many people are struggling and hurting at a time you are rejoicing and have plenty.  I want my kids to be humbled by this experience and understand God has blessed them more than they realize.  We hope you all have a MERYY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Autumn's Christmas School Party

Friday Autumn had her school Christmas party.  I was able to witness Autumn holding a spoon without throwing it to the ground.  She was scooping sequins to put in an ornament. 

This is such a HUGE success for her because she ofcourse HATES to eat and she associates spoons with eating so for her to willingly hold the spoon for a while was great progress for her. 

Here is her teacher giving her some kisses while Autumn gets her ear.

 She likes the large snow globe they have & has to get as close as possible to see it.  I would ask her where's the snow and she would point to it.

 Trying to get her to look at a camera for a picture is IMPOSSIBLE!

 This is a neat chair they use at school for her.  It's the perfect size to fit under the little tables and gets her all the way up to the table so she can play.  It has wheels so they said when she is done with an activity she will push herself away from the table.  If they have the chair locked then she pushes the entire table away when she is finished.  The girl knows what she wants & when she's had enough!

 Notice her focus on the craft...this is another HUGE thing for her as well.

These are the pictures of her making her ornament.  She needed more hand over hand help towards the end when she was losing interest.  It was funny to just watch her hold and examine the spoon closely.  She was also very picky about which substances she wanted in the ornament, she wanted none of the shredded, shiny paper, only a little of the snowflakes, but lots of the colorful sequins.  She had fun pushing the pieces onto the floor when she would miss her target.  I think she did some of it on purpose.  I loved being able to see her in her school environment and enjoying it.

Home Study

We completed the last part of our home study today. I was nervous not knowing what to expect but it was not bad at. First, we had a fire inspector come out to check the house & all was fine. When our caseworker got here we gave her a tour of the house & she checked to make sure meds & cleaning supplies were out of reach, made sure James' gun was locked up & fire extinguishers were available & outlets had safety covers in the boys bedroom. She then had to interview each family member in a separate room. The questions were to get to know us better & hear about our childhood. I was nervous my childhood sounded too perfect because I had hardly anything negative to say but I did manage to remember the time my parents gave away my pony without telling me first & broke my heart. ;) I know, my family is pretty awesome & that was like the worst thing that happened in my childhood. Love you mom & dad! The interview lasted about an hour for each James & I but only about 10 minutes per kid. She said the kids did not rat us out so we should be good. ;) So now we wait. It will take 8-12 weeks to get the home study prepared & then approval for adoption. While we wait, we will need to write a coversheet to sell ourselves to CPS caseworkers so they will want to open our file to choose us.

This is how the process works...once we are approved, our homestudy will be sent out to CPS caseworkers who have cases with boys who fit what we are looking for. The caseworkers will then select 3 families out of all the homestudies they receive. Not clear on how they choose 1 from the 3 but once it gets to that point, they send us the case file of the child. At this point the child has no idea that anyone is interested in adopting him. Once we read the ENTIRE case file of the child's past & present then we decide if we want to adopt the child or not. If yes, then we meet with everyone involved in the process to be approved as the best family fit for the child. We then will have our 3 meetings with the child before he comes home to stay forever. This whole process can take anywhere between 9-24 months depending on the CPS workers. So, another journey in our lives where I have no control & get to trust God through the process.

Why Adoption? Why now?

I know not everyone understands or supports our decision to adopt. I am actually okay with that because I know we have been called & we must be obedient to His call no matter the disapproval we get. I know I touched some on this last year when we first accepted His calling & made the decision to take the leap of faith to adopt but I wanted to share more of my heart about adoption. My journey to adoption began when I was a little girl. I remember hearing about the orphans in Ethiopia & would pray for those children everday at the dinner table. I then watched a documentary on orphans in Romania when I was in the 6th grade & it spoke to my heart. I honestly have the WORST memory & for these things to stand out to me & impact me for SO many years goes to show how the Holy Spirit starts His work. I realized just a few years ago that not everyone's heart responds the same as mine does when they here about orphans & my eyes were opened that adoption is a calling & not for everyone. Just like a teacher feels called to teach students & I have NO desire to be in a classroom for 8 hours a day dealing with other people's children. ;) We all have our unique talents & purpose in life. My purpose is to be a mommy & serve in any way God asks me to. When I hear about an orphan, abused, or neglected child my heart is wrecked. It hits my core & tears me apart. It pains me to know that children ALL over the world are laying there heads down to go to sleep each night without having a mommy or daddy to tuck them in. There are children wondering what their future holds & if they will ever have a family to love them. I cannot imagine what that must feel like. I was extremely blessed that God placed me into a loving home with parents who loved me deeply. I could of been one of those children though and lived life without hope. I don't want to adopt to rescue a child so that I can feel like I saved a life. I want to adopt to give a child hope. To give a child security, safety, love, food, shelter, and most of all a family. I don't want to be thanked or appreciated. I want to just know that one less child is being abused each night & can lay down at night knowing he is safe & being cared for.

Why now though? I know some people are thinking,"They are crazy,they already have so much going on". Believe me, I understand. Some days are overwhelming & how will we manage with a 4th child coming into our home with so much baggage in their life? Well, to that I say God is much larger than an abused child's baggage. He's so much bigger than our crazy, busy life. Circumstances will never be perfect so we just have to take that leap of faith to do this. We understand adoption is not going to be easy because God never promised us an easy life, He promised He will be there with us every step of the way. I pray nightly for our future son & that he is in a safe, loving foster home right now. Knowing he may still be in harms way makes me want this process to go as quickly as possible. I hope this helps some understand more of our decision to adopt but if not it's still okay. G

Home Study-Part 1

Yesterday we had our 4 hour home study interview.  It was pretty basic and easy.  They just ask questions about the child we are willing to accept, marriage, and other family/kid questions.  We actually finished a little early so James and I got to have a sit down lunch at Rosa's Cafe (place we wish SO much from Midland and they have several in the Ft. Worth area).  The kids were excited we brought them some home for dinner.  The 2nd part of our home study is Tuesday.  She will interview us separately and then the kids and look over the house.  Until then, we busy deep cleaning the house, getting our guns/ammo locked up separately, getting a fire inspection, and getting all meds/cleaning supplies put away. We are also having to practice our new parenting techniques since we really have to watch things we say or joke about because of the sensitivity the adopted child may see as a trigger.  For example, James and Gage are always jokingly saying, "I'm gonna spank your hiney" and that is a no-no for an abused, neglected child.  We decided to get them all into practice now so wewon't have any "slips" by the time our new son arrives.  ;)

Gage got his labwork back from the endrocrinologist and now his TSH levels are too low so they moved his dosage down on his medication.  The normal level are somewhere between .6-4.6  Gage was a 5.7 and now down to a .1  This may explain the crankiness and hyperactivity I have been seeing more of the past 2-3 weeks.  The medicine takes about 6 weeks to regulate the thyroid so we will get more bloodwork then and see how the levels look.

Only other things going on here is Christmas preparations which have kept me busy, busy, busy!!!

Doctor Appointments

This week we have 4 doctor appts scheduled...3 for Autumn and 1 for Gage. 

Autumn had a follow-up with neurology to see how she's doing on her new seizure meds.  She's been doing awesome so he was pleased told us to report back in 3 more months.  We also took her to see a gastroenterologist dr since she has never seen one since getting her g-button placed at 11 weeks old and I figured it was time for a larger button.  She had seen a g.i.surgeon for her nissen surgery but no one to follow up with regularly.  We had changed her to a new formula over a month ago and it's been horrible on her tummy.  Lots of vomiting and diarrhea.  We changed formula because she needed more calories but it's not helping and she just can not tolerate more volume that she needed from her old formula.  Well, after talking it over with the dietician and her g.i.dr we decided it would be best to go back to her old formula and just change up her feeding schedule.  So, now we will be feeding her 2.5oz once an hour for 16 hours each day.  Yes, it's more work for us but if this can eliminate the vomiting then that is what we will have to do to get all her calories/water in each day.  We could use a pump but she does even worse with a slow continious feed so the hourly boluses seems to be our best option...we will see.  I LOVED her g.i.dr He walked in apologizing that we had to wait about 10 mins...really?!  He immediately played with Autumn, made personal conversation with us, and was so kind.  He said he likes to take the conservative approach (which is our way of dealing with things) and instead of going up on meds or running all kinds of tests...he said let's do what we know works and stick to that.  My kind of doctor!  We did move her button from a 1.2cm to 1.7cm...yay!  We will follow-up with him every 6 months.  Her last appt of the week was with her ENT.  At first it was going to be an in and out appt since he really can not do anything with her still being on the vent (he's so ready to take her trach out) but then he asked if she needed a hearing test.  Yes, as a matter of fact her school nurse just sent a note home yesterday that she needed to be tested for school records.  So, they sent us to audiology to get tested.  Ofcourse Miss Autumn did not cooperate and would not look the direction the noise was coming from.  She did not fool the dr but without the response they could not pass her.  As soon as I got out my iPad and turned on Elmo however she turned her body in an instant to look...she's such a brat!  They did find out she has fluid in BOTH ears.  Ugh! So, back to see the ENT to discuss our next steps.  Our appt was at 1:30 and here is was 3:00 and waiting once again to see her ENT again.  So, he came in and asked if I wanted to have him put tubes in her ears, do a sedation hearing test, and a routine bronch scope all at once.  I asked if he really felt she needed tubes right now and he said it depends on how long the fluid has been in her ears.  Well, no one knows because we have not had a confirmed ear infection since 2009 and when the drs look in her ears, they look fine.  We know she does not have hearing loss (Elmo proved that) so he decided we can wait 3 months to check her ears again and if there is still fluid then we will schedule the surgeries.  I'm glad to wait until next year because 2011 has been our first ever surgery free year and I'd like to keep it that way.  ;)

Gage had his follow up appt with his endrocrinologist.  It was a frustrating appt because it's about a 45 min drive there, we wait over an hour, and then they asked a couple of questions, measured & weighed him, and then told us we would have to go to LabCorp to get bloodwork done to test his TSH levels.  That was the entire reason for the appt but apparently our insurance won't cover in office bloodwork.  So, we paid $92 and then got to drive back 45 mins and then go to LabCorp to get blood drawn.  He freaked but got lots of fake money at the $1 store to make it all better. ;)  We should get the results next week and see what to do about his medication...they want to see us in 3 months but their office is now going to be out of network so now it looks like I can to find a new endocrin dr...lovely!  I then get home to schedule Autumn's next vent clinic appt and find out our favorite drs have a 3rd dr on staff who will be doing most vent clinic days.  Really?! It so frustrates me because they have seen my baby since she was 11 weeks old and she's a complicated case and I dread having to go through it all again with a new doctor & I trust them 100%...plus, I have no clue if he will gel well with us like the other drs do.  So, I decided to wait to make my appt when one of the other drs are available but it may not happen so I may just have to pout and see the new guy.  Not happy.  Some weeks I just get so frustrated with dealing with medical people and all the changes...makes it more work for me and difficult at times.

On a good note however, we have scheduled our home study for our adoption.  We go in Wednesday to have our 4 hour interview and then the Tuesday following that our caseworker will come to our house to check it out and talk with the kids.  I am SO excited!  It takes about 2 weeks to complete the home study & then we will see if we are accepted and if so....our home study goes out to CPS caseworkers to search for our son!!!  Each step we get closer the more peace I feel.  It's just an awesome feeling when you obey and walk in God's will to feel the peace & calmness He gives you.  It's also comforting to know that one day soon, one more abandoned, neglected little boy will be able to lay his head down at night and not worry about if he will ever have a forever mommy and daddy to love & care for him & now he is safe from harm.  Oh, I can not wait to meet that little boy!

Spina Bifida Occulta

Crazy discovery last night. I visited my grandparents yesterday & my grandmother was telling me about me having to have my urinary tract stretched when I was little (which I never knew about). So, when I got back to my parents house my mom brought me my medical file from my pediatrician. It had all my weights & heights, sicknesses, and then the report from when I was having bladder issues. I had a VCU done when I was 3 years old. I was reading the report and the first line says, "Scout film shows spina bifida occulta of L5" What?! I read my parents the report & they had no clue! There are 3 types of spina bifida: occulta, meningolcele, and myleomenigocele. Most people have no clue they have sb occulta unless they get an x-ray or procedure done at some point in their life & it is discovered. There is a gap in the spine at the level but no nerves are damaged in this type of SB. Autumn has SB myloemenigocele which is the most severe form & the one that does have nerve damage. If you have SB occulta though you are 5-10 times more likely to have a child with SB. If I knew this information, I could of known to take higher doses than normal of folic acid to maybe prevent Autumn's SB BUT I trulyfeel God is control either way & know no matter what I do, His will would be done & believe His will has always been for Autumn to have SB & touch many more lives than she probably would of as a "normal" child. It just blows my mind to think that I have SB as well. Makes me wonder how many SB parents have it as well & even if my others kids may have it? So interesting.