Potty Training & Kindergarten plans

My goal for the summer is to have Noah Pedro 100% potty trained during the day...we can always work on the night time later. I can't handle both at once. It had been a big fail the first month of him home with us. We just could not be consistent when he wears pull-ups to school & underwear at home. I was constantly dealing with accidents. I had a friend send me a potty training book she used to train her triplets all at the same time. I read it & received some really good tips from it. The main thing was to do it all at once, stay home for at least 3 days & only focus on potty training, & to stay positive. The book said to do day & night all at the same time but I ignored that part. ;) So, Thursday morning we started the process of potty training. Day 1, I would take him every hour (sometimes every 30 mins) to try to go. The key is to catch them BEFORE they have an accident. I know his little cues so knew when he was about to go but I am also busy with 3 other kids so I could not be watching him every minute so I took him quite often to try to avoid accidents. EVERY TIME he used the potty, he got a piece of candy...the kid LOVED it! He only had about 2 accidents the first day. The second day, he had one slight accident. The third day, he had a couple of major accidents & my patience was running thin (my mother had left & I had been stuck at home with the 4 kids for 3 days now!). The 4th day he was accident free!!! Monday was a big test because it was the first time since potty training that we left the house. We took a trip to the grocery store..had to make 2 bathroom trips but no accidents! We even went to the park to play & get snow cones with only 1 bathroom stop & not accidents! Yay! There in no turning back now. He's doing it! Now he only gets candy when he tells me he needs to go & actually goes. Yesterday we went bowling & played some video games while there & he went potty once & never had an accident! I am still in shock how well it's going now. Once I feel safe to say we are 100% potty trained during the day, then we will work on night time training. He has been waking up fairly dry so I'm hopeful it won't be too hard now. I'm so excited he will start kindergarten without pull-ups on. Speaking of kindergarten, we had his ARD meeting right before school was out. He will be going to a different school than Gage & Autumn. :( This makes me sad & I hope he does okay with it, he really loved "eating" lunch with Autumn. The positive is that I can visit Gage & Autumn without having to sneak around the school so Noah does not see me. If he did, he would cling to me & cried when I left. He will be riding the bus to & from school which I hope works out with me taking Gage to school & picking up Madison from school. Not sure of the bus times so I am nervous how that will work out. His PPCD teacher will be at his new school so he will have a familiar face to see in the hallways which I am thankful for. He will be in a FA2 (a special needs class) classroom most of the day but will spend time with the "regular" kindergarten classes each day as well. He will do lunch, recess, specials, & 30 minutes of classroom a day in regular kinder & then do the rest of instructional learning in the FA2 class. He will also continue to receive speech therapy twice a week. He speaks clearly but has issues with concepts. He gets words confused & uses them wrong at times so he can say he's hot when he's actually cold, etc. He speaks like a 2 or 3 year old would when saying some phrases as well. He qualifies for an FA2 class because of his developmental delays & he scored low enough on the testing they did to be considered "intellectually disabled". Which means "mental retardation". I know this label scares many people. I've learned whatever label a child is given, it does not define what that child is all about. Madison is "gifted & talented", Gage is "short-stature, & ADHD", Noah is "intellectually disabled, ADHD, & developmentally delayed", & Autumn has so many different labels that I quit paying attention to them. Even with the broad difference in their skills & talents...I can celebrate accomplishments with each child everyday. Madison with her excellent grades & tests scores, Gage with his A/B honor roll despite having difficulties focusing, Noah being able to write his name, say his letters, or going to the potty, & Autumn pointing to something she wants to communicate to us & working hard daily in therapy. From the high grades from my oldest to the simple task of pointing from Autumn...I have feel the same joy with each child watching them accomplish goals in their lives & overcoming struggles. I cherish each child the way God created them to be. It does not matter if they are the smartest, most athletic, popular, prettiest, or even if they are "healthy". I've learned being "normal" does not matter. Having kids with a wide range of skills/issues really opened my eyes to see just how special & different God makes each & every one of us & how every child has a purpose & makes a difference in our world. Giving my child a "label" just helps me as a parent to know how I can best help them to grow & learn. It changes nothing about the way I love them or feel about them. With all that said, we will retest Noah in 2-3 years to see where his IQ is & if he still will be considered intellectually disabled or if he just needed time to develop more & catch up to his peers because of his delayed start in life. It will also help us prepare him more for his future. The thing I was most excited about in his ARD meeting is that they have done away with a behavioral plan. They said he is a completely different child than his previous school described him to be as far as behavior. He use to flee from the classroom & run from teachers & he would refuse to cooperate & throw fits. His new school said he tried to flee once but once they told him it was not allowed, he never tried again. They said he will withdraw when work gets difficult but they are able to help redirect his frustration without him having a temper tantrum. They were explaining how sometimes it looks like misbehavior but really it is just frustration from not being able to communicate his feelings so acting positively towards it instead of negatively completely changes how a child will react. His teachers have done SO well with him! They also believe it could be that he feels comfortable, safe, & secure in our home that many of his fears are going away. When I would first drop him off at school, he would cry & have to be reassured I'd be there when he would get off the bus. Same as anytime James or I left the house, he would cry & ask if we would be back. He has now learned that we always return so he does not cry anymore during departures from school or home. He is making good progress & still adjusting well.

Mom-cation

I am on a mom-cation right now. You may think I am sitting on a beach with my girlfriends or shopping until I drop. Nope. I am at home with my 2 daughters, nephew, & mother. May not sound like a "vacation" but it is to me. You see, I have nurses to care for Autumn, Madison pretty much takes care of herself & just needs me as her taxi, & my mom is taking care of my nephew that I am watching for 2 nights. James took the boys out of town to Austin & San Antonio. It was suppose to be an overnight trip for the both of us to take Noah Pedro to his dr appt in San Antonio. However, we don't trust to leave our new night nurse overnight with Autumn without us home so we were going to have to make it a day trip. Neither one of us wanted to drive 5 hours there & then 5 hours back in one day so I mentioned to James that he could take him, visit family & friends in Austin & I could just stay home. It's hard for me to give up the control of not being in every detail & missing a dr appt but this momma needs a break!!! So, we convinced Gage he should go too & the boys left on Sunday. I thought it should just be a night trip, James wanted to stay gone 3 nights, so we compromised for 2 nights away. After 1 night away, I am reconsidering letting them stay gone for 3 nights. I forgot what it was like to have just 2 kids. Yes, it's still hard work but 4 kids have worn me out!!! All those people who told me, "Once you have 3 or more kids, it's no big difference" LIED! It may be that 2 of my 4 have special needs so it's just A LOT more to handle! So, you wonder what I've done on this mom-cation huh? Well, I was so excited to sleep in this morning but couldn't. I tried but my body was wide awake at 7:15 am. I guess you could consider that sleeping in since the boys wake up at 6:30am but I really wanted to hit the 8 or 9am numbers on the alarm clock. :( It was my last chance for the week too..bummer! So got up & ready. Mom, nephew, & I went grocery shopping, got gas, & ran by the bank. Came home, put away groceries & did some laundry & sewed. Picked up Madison from VBS. Brought her home, took the dog to the vet to check her thyroid levels. Came home, took Madison shopping for some summer clothes, ran to Petsmart to get some frozen mice for the snake. Sewed a little more. Fed the snake. We all went to eat...this was so exciting for Madison & I. You see, our family literally only gets to go out to eat about 5 times a year! We eat out but it's always sending James to grab food to bring home to eat. We can't take Autumn to restaurants because she has high anxiety, cries, turns blue, & then dinner is ruined so we don't even bother. Just to have the freedom to go sit in a food place is HUGE!! We were able to do this since our day nurse worked until 7pm instead of 5pm today...we have to see if she wants to do it once a month because it's such a treat to do a small little thing as a family. After dinner, came home to do Autumn's trach care, played some UNO with my nephew, watched some TV, did some more laundry, & now blogging. I had planned to do some deep cleaning & organizing but things were just too busy today. I hope to tackle that tomorrow but just laying around doing nothing is tempting too before the boys return home :) Mom is staying until Friday so at least she will occupy the boys the rest of the week :)

Happy Birthday Gage!

May 17, 2004, I went into the hospital to be induced to deliver my 2nd child. We had no clue if we were having a boy or girl, we wanted it to be a surprise...but I had a feeling it would be a boy. I remember hearing the doctor say, "It's a boy" & being thrilled. I had NO idea how much that little boy would steal my heart. I love my girls but there is such a sweet bond between a mother & her son. He has brought so much joy & laughter into our home. When he was little, he was into everything & climbed everything! There was such a difference in raising a boy than a girl! The child NEVER slept & never stopped moving! Finally, at about 2 years old he slept through the night for the first time...whew! Gage has always been a funny child & 9 years later he is no different. He keeps us entertained by his singing, dancing & beat boxing. He loves to be center of attention. He also LOVES animals! From the time he could barely walk, he would find a bug & kiss it & every other animal he could find & even though he's more scared of bugs now, he still can not get enough of learning about animals. He adores them! He is such a lovable kid as well, he still loves to cuddle with his mommy too & claims he will continue when he's 16...I'm documenting it now to show him when he changes his mind on that one. ;) Every year I tell him he is not allowed to turn another year older...I want him to stay my little boy forever! I am so blessed to be his mommy & I love that boy with ALL my heart!

It's been 2 weeks!

I really had planned on updating how things were going daily once P arrived but obviously I under estimated what it was like to have 4 kids! Whew! So, we decided on a name for P! He is attached his current name so we are using it as his middle name & giving him a new first name. He never had a middle name so we explained to him how all of us have a first & middle name & we want him to have 2 names as well since he is part of our family now. After much debate, we decided on Noah Pedro Williams. Gage was NOT a fan of Noah, he wanted Joshua, so he refuses to say Noah. We try to use Noah Pedro as much as possible but a lot of time we still just say Pedro because we were use to it as well. At first he would correct us & just say his name is Pedro. We would only use Pedro when he requested. Now he never corrects us when we use both names but occasionally does if we just say Noah. At night when I get his pj's on, I always just use Noah when we are looking for his arms/legs/head to put his clothes on. If I forget to do it, he tells me to say, "Noah, where is your head"? So, he is slowly warming up to the new name. We know it's a lot of change at once so we are taking his cues on it. He may always want Pedro & that will be fine but legally he will be Noah Pedro in 6 month! Pedro has been doing AMAZING at the transition into our home. My brother met him the 2nd day he lived with us & commented how he acts as if he has always lived here. It has felt so natural. He seriously is a perfect fit for our family. We are learning more about him everyday. He has tested boundaries. One night was a nightmare! He refused to settle down for bed & it was an hour & a half long battle. James & I were nervous it was going to be like that every night. However, we received advice from a friend, foster mom, & our caseworker on suggestions. We now have a bedtime routine that is working. We found out he takes a LONG time to transition from playtime to bedtime. So, at 6:30pm, I give him a bath. 7:00pm we pick up toys & then we gets one on one mommy time. 7:30pm him & daddy lay in his bed & watch TV. 8:00pm I release daddy & do his bedtime story & prayers. I stay by his bed until he falls asleep which usually takes only about 5-15 minutes. Works great! He is just such a sweet child. He is affectionate, happy, funny, friendly, polite, & loves to help. He still has TONS of energy but will sit to play on my ipad when I need him to calm down. He is in the "why" stage which drives me CRAZY! He also says "What?" all the time! He asks for food all day as well! He loves his siblings & puppy...he still can not remember Layla's name! Potty training has not been going well. We were warned he may regress with the change so I am not pushing it until summer begins & he has had more time to adjust. He has started school & just the last 2 days has not cried for me when I drop him off but he still makes me walk him to class every morning. he rides the bus home with Autumn & he enjoys that. He loves buying school lunches & sits with Autumn * her nurse in the cafeteria. He calls Autumn's nurse "the office" I guess he hears nurses office at school or something? Really not sure where he came up with it. He is just so precious! We have had to do about 4 "time-ins" since he has been here. They recommend time-in instead of time-out because separating a child who is trying to attach is not good so his time-ins are in the same room as we are in but the same concept. One day a 5 minute time-in took 20 minutes because he would not stay! They are mainly for not listening to us & doing something we've warned him not to do multiple times. He is understanding what the rules are. Like the other day I was getting him out of the bath. He loves to pour water over his head over & over. Before I get him out I tell him how many more times he can do it then we need to put the cup away. The other day I told him 5 more times, he did 5 more times & then I told him to put the cup down. He started to fill the cup over & over to throw the water & soaked me in the process. I took the cup away & then told him that tomorrow he would not be allowed to use the cup because he did not stop when mommy told him to. So, the next night he asked for the cup & I told him no. He said, "Because I got mommy wet when I did not listen". Well, he had a toy in his tub that he could fill with water so he was using it instead of the cup. When I told him he could do it 3 more times then has to stop, he obeyed & said "I don't get mommy wet". I was proud of him for understanding what he did wrong & then making a good choice not to do it again. The adjustment for me has been challenging. I remember going from 1 to 2 kids was hard but then 2 to 3 did not seem too bad except for all of the adjustments with Autumn & her medical stuff but the family dynamic seemed pretty much the same. Going from 3 to 4 has me exhausted! It's not like bringing home a baby who can not walk or talk right away. This one is ALL over the place, constantly talking, & constantly wanting attention. I also noticed the huge difference in the household chores. There is more laundry, more dishes, & I am still adjusting to how much more food I need to cook each night & the grocery bill our first week was $300! Week 2 was another $180! Even though we were a family of 5 before he came, Autumn does not eat by mouth & Gage rarely eats anything so we had it easy. Noah eats SO much! He has even inspired Gage to try new things which is awesome! I was already busy of course with the 3 kids but now Noah Pedro has the adoption visits & I've been busy making calls for his medical, etc. I actually had to take naps the first week he was here when James was up because I was so tired, I rarely nap! I even miss my other kids at times. I honestly have spent little time with Autumn these past 2 weeks. She is content watching TV in her room so she has not noticed but I have. Gage has been off the video games & playing outside more with Pedro which is great but I have not been able to have my weekend cuddles with him at night when James is working. Madison has been a great big sister & I could not do it without her help on the weekends. She has been downstairs with us more but the first week she had practice every night so I rarely saw her but this week we've spent more time together. It's been an adjustment on all of us, even daddy has had to get less sleep to help watch kids while I run the others around to different appts. It has all been worth it though! To hear him call me mommy is the sweetest sound to my ears. To see him happy & know that he will be safe the rest of his life & have a family to love him is priceless. To see him interact with Madison, Gage, & Autumn is so much fun to watch. He had a rough start to his life & he will have challenges to overcome throughout the years but right now he's just a joyful little boy who has brought so much happiness back into our home & has brought us all closer together.

He's home!!!

I feel like I could write an entire book describing every little detail of our first day home with P. He did great flying on the plane & greeted us by running to us yelling, "Mommy, Daddy" & giving us big hugs. Once we arrived home, he was curious to check out the entire house. He first said hi to Autumn, we were wondering what he would think of her wheelchair, trach, & all of her equipment. He hasn't been nervous about it at all! He ran upstairs to check out his room. He wanted to open drawers, find his clothes, & open the gifts he had received from Nanny & Papa for Christmas. As soon as we showed him the bathroom & his toothbrush, he wanted to stop the exploring & brush his teeth. We tried to get him to look around first but he insisted so we watched him brush his teeth. He checked out the playroom, he liked the drums & guitars the best. We were then back downstairs to look at Autumn's room & check out the backyard. He found 3 toys of Autumn's that he has kept near him since he has been here that he loves to play with. Two are toy phones that he pretends people call him on all the time & the other is an alphabet tablet toy. We introduced him to Layla, our dog. He likes her but was unsure about her following him & getting in his face. They are about the same height. Layla lays on the floor wherever she wants & expects everyone just to step over her unless it's Autumn in her chair then she knows she better get out of the way fast! P did not want to step over her so he would just not pass her or yell for us to help him get passed her. He now is comfortable with her & will step over her & is okay when she walks up to him. He can not remember her name so he just calls her puppy. He wants to eat ALL the time. I have to give him small snacks throughout the day. He has some stomach issues so we don't want him to eat too much as once. It's hard having to tell him no because I know he was probably deprived of food when he was a baby & so he feels the need to eat all the time. It's a balance that we need to give him food so he feels secure & understands it will always be available but he can not over eat & be sick. I wonder how he is so little with all the food he eats! Our first day went REALLY well! He does so good with Autumn. They would lay in the floor or in her bed & each have an ipod to look at. She kept trying to grab his ears which he thought was funny but did not like her doing it. He would just say, "No,No, baby sister!" When she would lay on him, he would say, "Mommy, my baby sister loves me". He has been gentle with her & tries to tickle her, but Autumn is not ticklish. The majority of the first day home was spent chasing P around & informing him of the house rules like, no food/drinks upstairs, don't give puppy people food, do not open the doors to outside or go outside without asking permission first. He tested some boundaries but he does really good with either redirection or telling him he will lose a privilege & then does what he was told. I've had to do the count to 3 a couple of times & he always stops before 3. He really is a good kid, he has sweet manners & asks for permission before he picks an app to play on my ipad to make sure it's ok to play. I did take him to get a haircut & he looks so handsome but he has discovered Gage's baseball cap & wants to wear it 24/7 so the hairstyle never lasts long. He is adjusting much better than we expected & acts as though he has always lived here!

Day 3

Sunday morning we picked up P for breakfast. He did really well in the restaurant. At first he was sitting by me & Gage but then started putting his head down & was whispering something. I asked him what was wrong & he said he wanted to sit by daddy. He sure does love his daddy already! :) The boy can eat too! Foster mom said you have to stop him or he will not stop! He ordered him some pancakes with bacon. He did not want the bacon but wanted my sausage instead, he also wanted daddy's toast. He ate 4 small pancakes, a piece of toast, a sausage patty, & drank 2 cups of apple juice & still wanted to eat! We have to be careful he does not eat too much because of the surgery he had back in January. Gage barely ate about 3 pancakes & drank his cup of chocolate milk & he's bigger than P! When we were done eating, P said he did not want to go back to grandma's & that he wanted to stay with us. The entire way home, he kept saying, "I don't want to go home". He knew that we would be leaving when he got to grandma's. Once there, we loaded up all his belongings to bring home so he would not have to take them on the plane on Thursday. I could not believe all the stuff she sent. We were told that some foster parents send everything & some just send the clothes on their back. He had a huge tub of clothes play a large trash bag full, a box & bag of toys, a bag of shoes, a bike, & a scooter. She also sent his meds & bath stuff as well! After loading up, we took some pictures & then had to say our goodbyes. Foster mom & I hugged, it was one of those emotional hugs where we both were feeling so thankful for the other. For the past year & a half, I have prayed my son was in a safe & loving home. This woman has been taking care of him for 3 years. She has taught him how to walk, talk, bond & did all of it knowing that one day he would have to leave. She has done such an awesome job with him, he is such a sweet boy. I will never be able to thank her enough, she's a special lady. We could tell she is sad that P is leaving her because she will miss him but she did the job she was called to do & she is so happy he loves us & will have a forever family who will love him no matter what! We plan to visit in June & then whenever we can. So, we gave P his & kisses & has we started to leave he started bawling!! Yes, I started crying too. He stood at the door with his arms reaching out to us. We went back to give him more hugs & tell him that we promise he would fly to live with us in 4 days! I told him he could call us whenever he wanted to, just to tell grandma. It was so hard to leave! About 10 minutes down the road, grandma called us to let us know he was fine & playing & she wanted to let him talk to us. It was good to talk to him when he was happy again. I already miss him even though I've been going non-stop since getting home yesterday. I have so much to do before he gets here on Thursday so my blogging break has to end so I can get back to work.

Day Two

This morning we picked up P at 9:30am to take to the zoo. He met big sister & big brother for the first time. He was more shy & just said hi to them. I think he knows kids means sharing parents love so he was a little unsure about them being there. They gave him the gifts they got him, a stuffed kitty cat animal & a football. He liked them. We had a good time at the zoo. He tested boundaries but listened to us most of the time. There was one time he ran from daddy while laughing, but daddy did not think it was as funny. One time we made the mistake of telling him bye when he would not come & started to slowly walk off, thinking he would want to follow. Instead he got really sad & said we told him bye...yikes! We felt bad & realized that was not a good idea to do for a child who has been abandoned by his parents in the past. My favorite part of the day was watching daddy having to do everything for him. Yes, I'm usually the one the kids run to & ask for things but P wants daddy to do most everything. It's a nice change of roles, not sure daddy is too thrilled about it though. We also noticed today he is quickly learning how to go from parent to parent when he gets mad at one parent. I would tell him no about something & he would want to walk by daddy or if daddy said no, he wanted to hold mommy's hands. He did not seem to get jealous though when Gage held our hands so that was good. He warmed up to Gage quickly but still seems a little unsure of Madison. He whines a lot when he wants something...over & over...typical kid. :) He showed us some of his goofy side as well. He put on my sunglasses & James' baseball cap on & would slowing turn his head towards us & say, "Hey, LuLu". Not sure what Lulu is but he said it several times during the day about different things. One time daddy took him to potty & when he came back, he ran up to me & hugged my legs, I asked if he missed me & he said yes. It was sweet! He will be keeping us very, very busy since he goes non-stop. It's been a long time since we've had little ones to run after but I'm sure we will get use to it again. He also is not 100% potty trained & we have not potty trained a kid in about 6 years so that we will have to get use to again...we had 4 potty breaks, had one accident & had to change into a pull-up & new clothes, & a pull-up accident too all in about 5 hours! We are so use to our kids that need like 2 bathroom breaks ALL day (yes, we have been spoiled). I really thought we would see our first fit at the zoo but he really did well with us redirecting him. We let the kids pick out something from the gift shop & he wanted 4 things but we said only one & he was completely ok with that. Since he chose an inexpensive toy, we let him get another little something too. ;) Gage was not happy about it but his 1 toy was more than the 2 P got so he finally got over his little pout fit. By the end of the day, P was ready to leave (he wanted to play on my ipad) & was ready to see his "grandma" (foster mom) again. He never asked for her but said yes when we asked if he wanted to go see her. I think once he moves home, it will be hard when he realizes grandma lives too far to go visit. It's going to be hard on him so huge prayers for him please! In the morning we get to take him to breakfast & then will load up all his clothes & toys to take back home with us. It will be hard saying bye to him but I am so glad that in 4 days he will be home for good! I probably need those extra 4 days to rest & prepare for the huge change happening in our lives, I may not get to rest again for awhile! ;)