Conflicted Heart

God has been speaking to my heart so much today...he always does but I just took the time to listen today. Anyways, I have been thinking about all the hurting kids in the world and what I can do about it. There are kids sitting in foster homes needing a loving family, kids across the world in orphanages needing a family, kids in hospitals with special needs who no one wants waiting for a family, kids being sexual and physically abused needing to know what real love is all about, and babies being developed in their mommies wombs that want a chance at life but are being killed. My heart just feels broken today...not only for all these millions of kids but also what am I suppose to do about it? Right now I know I have enough to handle with Autumn but one day I know I should be taking a step to help these kids but do I really want to? Do I want to bring a foster kid into my home and expose my kids to a foster kids "issues"? Do I want to go through the process of adopting a child in Africa wondering if I really will be able to bring that child home and the cost of adoption? Do I want to take on welcoming a special needs child into my house so they will not have to spend their childhood in a hospital knowing all the work and sacrifice it takes to take care of these precious children? Do I want to pursue educating moms on why abortion is murder and the other options they have? Do I want to volunteer my time to love on the kids who have no clue what real love is all about? Do I want to just see the problems in this world, feel sorry for these kids, and then turn my back and not get involved? Honestly, the last option is what I lean towards. I like having a nice family where we are raising good children and teaching them to love God and other. I like my husband working so I can stay home to raise my kids and give them all the joys in life of having me there 24/7 for them. I like that we go to church and have lots of friends and family that we hang out with. I like that one day my kids will be grown and that James and I may be able to travel and see the world. Is that all that life is suppose to be about though? No...we are sent here to be the hands and feet of Christ. So, why do I not see all of us Christain families running to help rescue these kids? Imagine if we did and what a change would take place in society. Do I want to sacrifice what I want to devote my life to helping kids? Not really but God just keeps speaking to me about it. I have no clue what He wants from me and when He wants me to do something but it's something that sits on my heart often and that I just have to continually pray about. I just hate when God calls me to do things I don't want to and makes my heart all conflicted.