Wednesday

I am back in Dallas now. Autumn is doing good. She weighs 10.5 pounds and is up to drinking 4 bottles a day. She may not even need her g-button when we go home so that is good. She does have some fluid on her lungs and they don't know why but are going to give her some diuretics to try and get rid of the fluid. She had a sleep study done last night to see what her brain is doing and try to find out why she needs the oxygen at night. She has also been needing it during the day but that may be because of the fluid. It will probably be a couple of days before we get the results back.

James is finished with his training and I am still training. I have to do everything he does but I have to do it all twice since I am the main caregiver. James will be heading back to work today but will be able to bring the kids down to be here for Christmas and give me a break since I will be at the hospital for 5 days straight alone!!! Through January we are going to try to take turns weekly going back and forth to Midland. I know I need to try to be there more with the older kids but James still has work so we are not sure how much more he can miss before the family medical time runs out and when we run out of money from him missing work but thankfully God has been providing.

We are still trying to figure out how to get Medicaid and I need to call around to places but it gets hard when I am stuck at the hospital and trying to take care of Autumn and be with her. I found out even if she gets disability that it does not mean she will get automaticalling approved for SSI because they still look at your income. So, James makes about $400.00 too much each month to get approved for SSI. She is on Medicaid as long as we are in the hospital but once we leave it goes by income. Also, our insurance has a 2 million lifetime max and we have already claimed over 500,000 and she is only 3 months old so I am not sure what is going to happen when we reach the 2 million and still can't get Medicaid. It is sad that the hard working Americans are the ones who can't get medical help for their disabled children but if James did not have a job, did not pay taxes, and lived off the government we would have no problem getting the medical help we need. Since we make $400 over the cut off amount they expect we can take care of our disabled child. So, unless insurance agrees to help with nursing or we find some loop hold to get on medicaid we are pretty much stuck in the hospital because we can't afford to pay around $3,000 or more a week for nursing care and there is no way we can go home without help. So, still waiting for God to perform miracles for us and I know He will open doors for us but I know it will be His timing and not mine so I am trying to stay positive and hang in there. *sigh*

My weekend home was good except Madison and I had a couple of fights. I hate fighting with her but we are JUST alike and so we don't get along--too hard-headed. She brings out the worst in me and that is something I am still trying to work on. Anyways, Friday night the kids, mom, my little cousin Jordyn and I went to Imagine Christmas at our church and rode the hayrides around looking at light and had out popcorn and hot chocolate. It has become a tradition every year now but sadly James has never been able to go with us because of his work schedule. Saturday the 3 kids (with Jordyn) and I went shopping to 2 needy boys which is also a family tradition we do with the kids each year to teach them to give back to others in need. Madison had a great time this year picking out the toys and clothes for her boy and Gage is still trying to get it and wonder why the video game was not for him. :) The kids and I then went to the movies which I have not taken my kids to a movie in over a year so that was a fun mom and child activity but Gage got bored about 45 minutes into the movie and was ready to go and then I remembered why we don't go often. :) Saturday night the kids went to spend the night with Madison's grandma and so I took the time to hang out with the girls and go out to dinner. I strated having a bad evening before I went so it was nice to just get my mind off of everything for one evening. Sunday I was going to head back home but decided since James was doing his rooming-in and I could not go to the hospital anyways that I would wait and leave early Monday morning. I spent the time cleaning, doing laundry, and packing. The kids came back home around 2pm and we opened a few early Christmas presents from Grandma Roxane and her friend Karen. We then spent time playing the all the toys together and then it was time for bed. So, it was a good weekend and I was sad as always to have to leave and come back to Dallas but I was also ready to see my baby again and get cuddle time in. :) So, this week James will be working and I will be here taking care of Autumn. Please keep the insurance, medicaid, and nursing issue in your prayers. God bless!!!