Feeling of guilt

I'm on this new guilty kick about having nurses. I know I need them to get anything done but I just feel like some days when I have a nurse 16 hours or more than I don't spend the quality time I need with Autumn. The other day Autumn cried real tears for the first time--I was telling this to one of my nurses about it and she said, "Oh, I've seen her cry real tears-like when she wants someone to pay attention to her and give her the paci." What??? I felt horrible thinking she NEVER cries like that with me so does that mean she's upset because her mommy isn't the one there taking care of her? The day she cried real tears for me I picked her up and started cuddling with her she stopped crying and was just started smiling at me. Anyone who knows me knows I am VERY independent and so it makes it hard to have other people here taking care of my daughter when that is my job to do as a mommy. When we first brought Autumn home I would go in every night and feed her the night bottle but now I let the nurses do it all because by the end of the day I'm drained and I have Madison and Gage to take care of. it's just so frustrating because I want to do it without help but it's not possible. I have days like yesterday when I'm doing the daily house chores, laundry, making the kids breakfast and lunch, taking care of Autumn's needs and everything goes so smoothly that I think--I can do this without help and then there are days when NOTHING gets done and I can't wait for a nurse to walk through the door to rescue me. :) I guess if I was a mom who worked outside of the home it would be the same as having a nurse here in the evenings but I just worry about the missing out on the special bonding times with Autumn. So, I guess I don't need to feel guilty and think of it as a time for me to rest so I can give my all to Autumn the next day or time to give to Madison and Gage but it still breaks my heart knowing there may be times she just wants mommy and I'm not there to comfort her.