Balancing Act

So, I am having a hard time trying to figure out how to balance myself between all 3 kids and my husband. Madison is failing math and missing both me and her daddy (that's another story). Gage is learning how to write his letters and numbers and I am missing out on him growing up so fast. Autumn is still doing the same-riding the vent and not breathing on her own. James is currently working an 8 day and really wants the family home together since it has been 2 months since we were all home at the same time. So, I decided to go home on Wednesday instead of Friday to spend more time with the family. Autumn is just laying there sleeping anyways and we will not have our meeting until next week so I do not see any changes happening between now and then so this really is the best time to go home. As a mom though I feel guilty when I am in either place because I know I am neglecting someone no matter where I am. Right now though I know Madison and Gage need me more. I also have to try and decide what is going to be best for Madison school wise since I am sure we will probably have to get the trach and will be stuck here for another 6-8 weeks. If she is already struggling in math I am scared a school change will make it worse but she also is sick of her school because there are no good Christian friends so she wants to leave. What to do??? So, if it is not the stress of Autumn and her medical issues it is the stress hearing the life of a 4th grader. This better be the most stressful journey we ever have to go on because I am not sure if I can take much more than this.