Frustrated

So, Saturdays I guess are going to be bad days for us. Yesterday was a frustrating day for me. When I got to the hospital they said Autumn had several desats and that auto mode on the vent kept kicking in breathing for her. I was confused since she has been doing so well--I noticed that auto mode would kick in even when she was breathing on her own and not hitting the low respiration rate that is suppose to make it kick in. I explained this to the doctors but they said it was because she was breathing too swallow but the rate of her breaths did not show they were too shallow. I guess I am just confused on how the machine works so the medical team decided to take her off auto mode and let the machine completely breathe for her again which is so frustrating to me since she will just ride the machine and will not breathe over it when she is on it. I am also frustrated because I keep getting conflicting reports and advice on what the doctors want to do--as a parent it makes you feel like they have no clue what they are doing and are just unorganized. One team says the MRI showed she had a decrease in the ventricles while the neurologist show there was an increase. I then have a doctor come in to tell me the results of the MRI but I was pumping so she said she would come right back--did she? No--instead after waiting 2 hours for her to come back I find out she went home instead. I hate days like this--when I feel no one is listening to me and no one is talking to me. Anyways, this morning I have the strict nurse again but she gets things done as well so I told her all my concerns and frustrations and she is going to ask questions for me in the rounds and hopefully I will get some answers. She already confirmed for me this morning that neurology said there was an increase and that the shunt is working properly and that there is no infection showing as of yet. I know though that God's hands are taking care of Autumn and even if the doctors will not listen to my voice that God is listening and I have to continue to trust in his healing hand and his faithfullness. I need prayer today to not get discouraged and to feel God's presence with me throughout the day. This is when I really wish James was here with me--he also needs prayer to get better and not miss anymore work--he has been sick for 2 days now.